Rebecca Frost

Dear Diary,

Emily’s doubling down. Jane came to me late this morning, because apparently Emily came by pretty early, directly from Henry’s cabin, and she’d already been drinking. She’s decided to accuse Percy of murdering Mary and spreading her body parts in the woods, which is disturbing on many levels.

Jane talked to Alyssa about Henry yesterday, and Emily talked to Henry (and then Jane) about Percy and Mary this morning. But, at some point, someone has to have talked to Emily about Percy’s perfect days comment, right? Alyssa heard Percy say it to Henry, but she didn’t think Henry caught it, and she said something to Truman, but he laughed it off, and I don’t think Truman’s really talked to Emily. So did Alyssa tell Emily, too, because she’s got the next closest cabin? Or …?

Jane stopped by the lodge on her way to me and confirmed that her concerns (about Henry) had been passed on, and both Alyssa and Truman will be keeping an eye out as they can, but that no, of course Jonathan didn’t offer any more information. I tried to tell Jane she shouldn’t have expected it, because if there’d been anything in any of our background checks that sent up a red flag, we wouldn’t be here. She just pointed out that there don’t have to be any warnings before someone snaps, which makes her sound like she’s taking Emily’s side in the Percy/Mary thing, but she’s also worried about Emily poking Henry, and God, if we had more people here at least we’d be able to shuffle into our own chosen subsets and not all be tangled in this thing together.

I need to take a page from Edgar’s book. As far as I know, he only talks to Truman and Alyssa, and he avoids the rest of us.

Emily’s the opposite, apparently. She keeps seeking Henry out, and she’s more aggressive than he was, but I guess that means the lure worked for him. So she’s all up in his face, trying to play psychological profiler and feed him what she thinks he wants, and now she’s introduced this whole active murder scenario that … well, I can’t tell Jane that Alyssa already shared something with me, because then she’d ask why Alyssa was talking to me, when she only talks if you say something to her first, and plus Jane’s never seen me talk to Alyssa.

I’ve met most of the people involved here and I’m still having trouble keeping track of everyone.

Jane doesn’t think anything’s up with Mary and Percy because Emily’s just stirring the pot. I’ve got some insider info from Alyssa that says maybe the lid needs to be lifted and the contents of that particular pot checked. And now Jane somehow wants me to keep an eye on the path to see if either Emily or Henry passes going toward the Shelley cabin, or if I see a strange woman who’s probably Mary, except the cabins don’t have windows that face the path because of the whole privacy thing.

Did I mention this was supposed to be a relaxing month where I could think through where I want my life to go from here?

Jane thinks Emily made up the murder story for the same reason she’s been talking to Henry: to mess with the guy. I think she’s right that Emily’s the kind of person used to being at the center of attention, so she’s trying to draw it however she can. Jane and I aren’t responding the way she wants, so she’s turned to Henry, since he’s basically the only other person she can latch on to. Edgar’s doing his own thing (seriously jealous of that) and Percy only shows up to grab food.

Jane said she already tried telling Emily that Percy always takes enough for two, but she dismissed that because that’s an easy enough thing to do. That just makes me wonder how often Emily really thinks about killing someone and hiding it.

No one outside expects to see Mary until July 31, or maybe August 1, depending on when their flights and things are scheduled. They probably know she’s here with Percy, so it’s going to be rough for him no matter what because, the last anyone knew, the two of them were together.

Okay if that happens, they’ll be interviewing everyone here this month, and I really, really don’t need that. Don’t want that. But I also don’t know how to tell Emily to stop getting the attention she apparently craves, and Alyssa told me about Perfect Days, and I just don’t have a good feeling about this. I wish it were tomorrow. We talked last Monday, before I got here, and he’s promised to call every Monday at 9 a.m. I already know he’s going to tell me I’m overreacting and it’s all in my head, and I need to focus on myself and my own healing journey, but God, right now, I just want to hear him say it.

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Cold Comfort: Sunday, July 7, 2024 – Alyssa, coming July 21

He jumped at a knock on his door and automatically checked his watch, so it was good he hadn’t started pouring coffee into his mug. At least he didn’t have a mess to clean up. He put the unused mug and the full pot back in their spots, wiped his hands on his shirt, and went to answer. There wasn’t glass in the back door, but there was a peephole, and he leaned in to see how well it worked just in case that might help him figure out what the heck was going on.

Emily. Well then. Henry unlocked and opened the door, eyebrows already raised.

She grinned and held up her reusable shopping bag. “Screwdriver?”

“Uh.” He cleared his throat. “I haven’t even had any coffee yet.”

Her sigh was dramatic, but her smile stayed. “Can I come in anyway?”

Henry gestured. “Make yourself at home.” At least the bedroom door was closed, but shit, were the files out? He didn’t breathe until he saw that the folder was under a stack of books, everything tucked neatly inside. It was just a manila file folder, with nothing sticking out to tempt those big blue eyes.

Emily set the bag down on the coffee table, but she did a little circuit around the room instead of taking a seat right away. “You know, I think all of the cabins look exactly the same.”

He shrugged and went to actually pour his coffee this time. “The only price difference was for one or two people, so I assumed.”

She clucked her tongue. “Do you think anyone’s ever gone crazy here?”

 “What, grabbed an ax and started murdering his family?” Henry sipped his coffee, but he didn’t want to sit down before she did.

Emily laughed. “In the book, it’s a roque mallet.”

He made a mental note that she read Stephen King, but otherwise let that slide. “I looked into this place before I signed anything.”

“I mean, I did, too, but that’s not going to be one of the reviews,” she laughed.

Not the ones on the main website, no, but something like that would leak. There would’ve been remnants left, even if Jonathan paid someone to try to take all evidence down. Plus a police report. There’d be something on file with the Meyer name connected to it, and there wasn’t. He’d checked.

Emily raised an eyebrow at his silence and went to pull the orange juice and vodka out of her bag, along with the clear plastic to-go cups. “What all just went through your mind right there?”

“What?” He tried not to blush, but the feel of his cheeks heating up just made it worse.

“You just had about a bazillion thoughts and said none of them.” Her eyes sparkled, but they were also intense.

Henry cleared his throat and went for a sip of coffee. “The NDA doesn’t hold if crimes are committed.”

“Yeah?” She tilted her head, shaking that curtain of blonde hair. “You actually read the whole thing?”

“You didn’t?” Shoot, was that too defensive?

Emily shook her head, sipped at her drink, and shrugged to show that the ratios were close enough. “I figure it’s a month out of time. We’re in a different stream. Live it, leave it.”

“So now you’re worried that there’s going to be a murder and you’ll have to forget it?” He tried to laugh it off.

“Has anyone actually seen Mary Shelley?” she shot right back.

Henry blinked to try to relieve his mental whiplash. “Uh.”

“I’m just saying.” She raised an eyebrow. “That’s suspicious, right?”

“Jonathan had to pick them up from somewhere.” Except his voice wavered, so that didn’t sound like he believed himself.

Emily shrugged and went to the window, one arm crossed over her stomach as the other hand raised her drink to her lips again. “Cool, so she was last seen alive almost a week ago.”

“She’s not dead in that cabin.” There, that was better.

“Said with such confidence because …?” she shot right back.

He blinked.

Emily nodded to herself and shrugged. “Did you know Gacy’s basement got searched because they had a warrant to look at some other part of his house, and one of the detectives recognized the smell of rotting meat?”

He licked his lips. “Emily …”

“I’ve walked past it. The path that goes most of the way around the lake? Yesterday.” She nodded out toward the water like she had to prove she knew what she was talking about.

Automatically Henry checked out her footwear: still the strappy heeled sandals. “And you smelled something?”

“No.” She tilted her head again. “But he’s had plenty of time to chop her up and start strewing the pieces around the woods.”

Henry took a slow breath. He had to remain focused. Distraction. That’s all this was. She realized she’d maybe said too much yesterday and needed to redirect his attention onto someone else: a murder that had either just happened or was about to happen. “I’m sure Percy didn’t kill his wife.”

“Really?” She turned those blue eyes on him, unsmiling. “Why?”

“What?” It dropped out of his mouth before he could stop it.

“Why are you so sure?” she pressed. “How much do you know about this guy?”

“Uh.” Stellar argument, that.

Emily nodded once. “Did you know Jane talked to Alyssa last night?”

Wait, what? Why would that matter?

“She asked her how much they know about any of us. Her and Truman, at least,” she clarified, like Henry was actually following along.

“And?” It wasn’t like he’d put anything on the forms that would raise any red flags. Right?

“She said they know our passwords for incoming calls, and she can look up our meal preferences, but that’s it.” She raised an eyebrow, and maybe she was in theater or something, because all these moves were dramatic. “They don’t even know anything.”

“Jonathan does background checks.” There. He knew that much.

Emily almost snorted. “Nobody really knows what goes on in a relationship until someone snaps.”

Wow. She’d just said that, looking straight into his eyes and everything, chin up and shoulders square.

Henry didn’t know what to say. Really, he had no idea. Even if they weren’t at Loon Lake, where secrets were the order of the day, he couldn’t very well have asked her to follow up on that, could he?

Emily twisted back to the window, a jerk of her shoulders followed by her head that nearly spilled her drink. She quickly swiped at her eyes like that meant they could both ignore the fact that they were even more magnified by tears, and ducked her head down to her glass, which probably either had too much or too little vodka right now.

Henry hid behind his mug, holding it in both hands, because hey, he now had a child murderer in his cabin, nice and early in the morning, and not only was she drinking, but she was getting upset about murder and relationships and people snapping. Was that the excuse? Annabeth Deschain killed Dani Jay because she snapped? You don’t know what’s going on in relationships—see how the world, and Dani Jay’s mother, apparently didn’t—until …

“You probably think I’m crazy.” Her voice was low, but her diction was immaculate.

Uh. “I don’t see the evidence for your accusation.”

“You want me to bring you evidence?” she challenged.

“Emily …” Maybe it wasn’t wise, but he set his coffee down so he could go over and take her hand. Just the one hand, since the other clutched her drink. “If Percy’s a murderer, then he’s dangerous. It’s too risky for you to sneak around trying to prove it.”

She frowned a little, then plucked her hand back. “You’re just saying that so you can poke around and come away as the hero.”

“What? No!” Except he couldn’t say he was saying it because he thought she was full of shit. That was too close to crazy.

The noise that came out of her was clearly a scoff. “So then you think I’m incompetent.”

Henry sighed and crossed his arms. “I think that, if you’re accusing someone of murder … especially the kind of premeditation you’re going for … then that person is incredibly dangerous and probably has contingency plans for someone catching on.” That didn’t really apply to Annabeth Deschain, who, everyone agreed, committed a murder of opportunity.

But who might either be trying to distract attention from herself, or seeking that same sort of high of being near a murder, but not the cause of it. Especially since she’d already gotten away with something.

“Look, Emily.” Okay, but what should come after that?

She shook her head and went for the front door, fumbling with the lock for a moment before getting it open and stalking unevenly to the lake shore and off to the right, maybe toward the lodge or maybe toward her own cabin, screwdriver only half-gone and ready to fuel her for whatever came next. Henry tried another deep breath and moved the rest of the orange juice to the fridge before finishing his coffee, considering his knitting, and sighing again as he picked it up and headed for his rocking chair.

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Cold Comfort: Sunday, July 7, 2024 – Agatha

I put my book down when the door opens, because it’s not time for them to start arriving for dinner yet. Residents tend to be pretty quiet here—pretty self-sufficient, I guess—but, if someone stops in outside of mealtimes and doesn’t go straight to get a snack, then it usually means my so-called expertise is needed.

It’s Jane, moving like a deer: looking around to see who else might be here, peering into corners and taking detours to check out the dining room and the laundry room before coming to the desk. This is probably above my pay grade.

She approaches and lays both hands flat on the countertop almost gently before clearing her throat. “How much do you know about us? The, uh, residents?”

Where is this going? “I know all your pass phrases for phone calls, and I can look up meal preferences if you ask for delivery and don’t specify.”

She blinks. “That’s it?”

“Well. Your names this month.” I shrug. “You get to come here and figure out who you want to be, so Jonathan’s not going to tell us anything else.” That was why Edgar was a surprise. I didn’t recognize anyone in June.

Jane frowns just a little, putting the smallest creases in her forehead. “Does Lydia know?”

“I honestly have no idea.” And even then, what would Jonathan himself know? Their legal names, for the NDAs and the money transfers, but again, unless they’re someone like Edgar, that’s not going to tell him much.

She hesitates, chewing her lip, and I hold the silence, mostly because I don’t want to push her into just blurting it out. Whatever it is.

Does she think Percy’s killed Mary? Did she see or hear something that’s going to bring the police to Loon Lake?

She finally steels herself for it. “I’m worried about Emily.”

Uh. Totally not where my mind went.

“And Henry.” Jane bites her lip.

I try a slow breath. “There are toiletries and things on the shelf in the linen closet.” Including condoms and some of those mail-order morning after pills, but I don’t really want to go into that, thanks. If Jane’s here for birth control worries, she can pass that information on and let the couple figure it out for themselves. Imagine getting pregnant, not realizing it until after you’ve left, and having no idea of the father’s real name.

“Look, she thinks she’s playing him, but Henry seems like the real player. And …” She licks her lips and forces herself to hold my eyes. “I don’t think he should be here.”

All my customer service skills suddenly come to attention as I take a slow breath through my nose.

“Look, I just … Jonathan does background checks, right?”

“Right.” As she should know.

“So he’s not …” She abuses her lower lip some more. “He hasn’t been …”

Convicted is how that sentence ends. Jonathan checks for convictions. Arrests and complaints aren’t a factor.

“I just …” Sighing, Jane loses her perfect posture and her shoulders slump. “Emily’s the sort of woman who thinks she can handle anything, so she’s going to play with fire, but Henry’s a blow torch.”

I’m not entirely sure that metaphor works in the real world, but I get what she’s trying to say.

At least I don’t have to respond, because Jane shakes her head and looks away. “I know she’s an adult, but I’m worried. Agatha’s worried. Emily’s not worried but she should be worried. And Henry …”

There’s more, so I wait.

Jane nods once. “I really don’t think he belongs here.”

I take another slow breath, but she doesn’t start talking again, so I say, “Why not? Specifically.”

“He doesn’t have conversations.” Now she shakes her head. “He grills you.”

It’s my turn to groan, because I haven’t heard these exchanges, for one, and for another, if he wanted to grill someone, why hasn’t he attached himself to Edgar?

“He wants to know why we’re all here,” she adds, like this should be the big one.

I frown. “He’s asked you—?”

“No, not straight out, but he asks around it. He says things you’re supposed to respond to.” Then she groans in frustration and her hands ball into little fists. “I know how it sounds. You don’t have to tell me how it sounds, but I know how it feels. He hasn’t talked to you, has he?”

I shake my head. It’s not like any of the residents have to talk to me. The food’s in the dining room and the laundry room and linen closet are labeled. Some guys just feel more comfortable asking Jonathan personally, or waiting for Truman because hey, I’m not a guy.

“Okay, so there’s nothing specific, but my gut feeling counts for something, okay?” she insists, now close to tears. “Mine and Agatha’s.”

“Do you want to bring it up with Jonathan, or do you want me to?” I ask it as calmly as I can, without even pausing for a deep breath first.

Jane blinks and looks behind her to make sure the door’s still shut. “Could you? I feel like it would be weird if I …”

“I’ll talk to him.” I don’t really know what I’m going to say, but I’ll mention it. Jonathan’s a good guy, but this isn’t a topic I’ve covered with him before.

“Okay, and like.” She closes her eyes. “I know you’re off at eight, and I know they don’t always hang around here, but your cabin’s sort of between Henry’s and mine, right?”

I nod. “Across the path there, yeah.”

“So, like.” She leans in a little closer. “If either of us hears anything …”

Okay, my concern’s been the Shelley cabin down at the far end, but I nod. I’m not entirely sure what I’m agreeing to, because I’m not about to go knocking if it sounds like two people having a good time, but I nod.

“Great.” Jane almost smiles. “Thanks. And, uh.” She zips her lips. I nod again, even though I’ve agreed to talk to Jonathan, because she needs it. The customer goes away, relieved if not entirely happy, and now it’s on me to figure out how, exactly, I want to proceed. We still have over an hour before dinner, so I pick up the phone and dial the extension that reaches the Meyers’ cabin to see if he’s at home.

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Cold Comfort: Sunday, July 7, 2024 – Henry

Dear Diary,

Emily’s having fun playing with Henry. That’s nearly a direct quote: “Oh, I’m just having fun playing with him.” Like he’s some young thing with his tongue hanging out of his mouth at the sight of her, and the power dynamic clearly swings in her favor.

Like she’s safe, playing with a man like Henry.

We did lunch today, the three of us, and Jane’s the one who asked her what she was doing. I had no idea, but yesterday it was a bikini on a blanket, and this morning it was a sun dress in a rocking chair right next to him, sipping on a cocktail.

Well. Emily said it was a mocktail, but she only said that to us. Not to him.

I think it’s supposed to be empowering, but it sounds manipulative to me. She says she’s trying to figure out what he’s up to, what he wants, and that made Jane snort into her salad. “Sex, Emily,” she said bluntly. “That man wants sex.”

I’m not so sure. Christian Grey style sex, maybe, where he doesn’t have any idea how to approach consent or what actual BDSM involves. Henry wants the power, but Emily thinks she has the power, so she figures she safe and I’m worried about her playing this guy we know nothing about. We don’t even know his real name, for crying out loud. I mean, if something actually happens (please God don’t let anything happen) and the police get involved, they’ll get his real name and all, even if he runs off. Jonathan would have to give it up in the face of a warrant, right?

Okay nothing’s going to happen that means someone needs a warrant. That’s silly of me. I’m doing my doom thinking, diving directly toward the worst-case scenario, but come on. Emily doesn’t do this kind of thing all the time, does she? Get a high off of feeling like she’s in control of both her sexuality and other people when they’re strangers and who knows how they could react?

Jane pointed at me. “Look, Agatha’s on my side! Don’t poke the wildlife!”

“The wildlife wants to be poked,” Emily protested. “He’s just dying for … I’m not even sure what, but his tongue was practically hanging out of his mouth, and it wasn’t for these.” She grabbed her breasts in both hands, and her dress was cut low enough there was almost a wardrobe malfunction.

“Look, your tits are amazing,” Jane admitted, “so what in the world do you think he wants that has nothing to do with them?”

Emily laughed. “Something to do with mommy issues. He got me talking about kids, and older men, and God, I don’t even know. He’s either got some weird kinks or …”

“Or?” I had my own ideas on how she would finish that sentence.

Emily shrugged, but Jane shifted and cleared her throat until Emily said “Spill!”

“Do you get the feeling that Henry doesn’t hold conversations?” she finally asked, not so much a spill but a dribble. “Like he’s interviewing you?”

That made Emily throw back her head and laugh, and I started to relax, but that wasn’t a Ridiculous! laugh. “That’s exactly it!” she cried, having to wipe at her big blue eyes because of the mirth tears. “God, he was going for a freaking confession!”

“To what?” That was me, even though I didn’t really plan on it. I guess I just needed to hear someone else say it.

Jane took over and grilled her on it: what did he ask? What did he say? Did he seem to be after something specific, or anything that made it seem like Emily was guilty of something?

“Okay, but why?” Emily asked once the questions dried up. “What’s he after?”

Jane tilted her head. “He stopped being interested in me when I …” She blushed, and then Emily had to draw it out of her: “I kind of complained you two seem messed up about men, and implied I’m not.”

“So, what, he’s hoping for a rebound?” Emily guessed. “Some level of guilt feelings just turns him on?”

“And mom-hating,” Jane added. “Hate your mom, don’t want kids, rebound sex … wait, didn’t he say his mom taught him how to knit?”

Emily nodded, and they tried to pull it apart a little more, but I was done with lunch. I had a couple bites left on my plate, but I was done. Mommy issues, abandonment issues, not liking kids, looking for a confession. Diary, I know what I think that adds up to, and the answer is “trouble.”

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Cold Comfort: Saturday, July 6, 2024 – Alyssa

Henry stayed up too late last night transcribing every word of his conversation with Emily and then going over and over and over it, looking for subtext. He had his concerns about the recorder, but it caught almost every word, even inside his shirt. It looked like some sort of abstract pendant, and nobody had mentioned it yet. He charged it every night, and just kept it running every day, but this was the first time he wanted the full transcript.

The laptop wasn’t forbidden. It couldn’t connect to anything, anyway, and his typing was both faster and neater than his handwriting. He couldn’t print it, but he could scroll, and make notes, this time by hand on one of his cheap paper tablets.

Emily had done everything but ask him to put baby oil on her back. She came to the front of the lodge in big sunglasses, an enormous hat, sandals—no heels this time—and a tiny bikini, holding a towel, and she even lowered those sunglasses and winked at him before spreading the towel and stretching out on it. “Okay, I’ll bite,” she called up to the porch, adjusting the brim until it flopped to her liking. “What are you knitting?”

“A sweater. Do you knit?” So she used his own bait against him, in a way, and threw out her own.

Her figure was totally the kind that could entice someone like Aaron Gladieux away from his hot young girlfriend. And seriously, she moved like a cat, every gesture purposeful and predatory.

She didn’t knit, so they talked about that a bit. It wasn’t actually his mom who’d taught him, but he’d picked that as his story because hey, Annabeth Deschain was sort of a mother figure to Dani Jay, and whoa, boy, were mothers a conversation starter with Emily. Henry sipped his coffee and scrolled through the transcript again, looking for some of the more telling gems.

My mom basically foisted me off on my older sister, you know? So she didn’t have to do all the mom stuff. I wish she’d done something like teach me to knit.

Some of my friends got pregnant right out of college and they were happy about it. Like, girl, these are the best years of your life!

She totally baby-trapped him.

Emily then asked Henry if he knew what that meant, and clarified with the most vindictive description Henry thought he’d ever heard.

Gold. Pure gold.

And it made sense, didn’t it? An Annabeth Deschain who went after her employer, even though he was in a relationship and clearly had a child with his girlfriend, who also totally lived in the house, could be expected to need male attention during this month-long retreat. Possibly while Gladieux got rid of his girlfriend.

Henry wished he had the internet so he could check for updates there. Dani Jay was old news by now, but if anyone caught a moving van in the driveway and half of the belongings being carted out …

He’d even managed to seamlessly maneuver the conversation onto parents who killed their own children, going for Caylee Anthony instead of Dani Jay, but it worked. “See, that’s exactly my point!” Emily told him, and she even aimed a finger up at him to skewer that exact point. “Some women shouldn’t even become mothers! They abandon their kids, or let someone else raise their kids, or—God forbid—kill their own kids! And it’s not just mothers. My father? Absent. Totally took off. Which guys can, easier than girls, and then girls are left holding the baby and trying to figure it out, and sometimes they can’t, but they’re the ones who get stuck.”

Henry’s wince wasn’t on the recording. “Sounds like it’s personal.”

Emily’s smile wasn’t on the recording, either, but it was secretive and knowing. And then, later, another juicy sound bite: “It’s why I prefer older men. They’ve got a better idea that actions have consequences.”

Man oh man. Henry highlighted those two sentences bright yellow.

Seriously, it was like she had no idea how much she was saying. Like she thought she was being coy instead of putting it out there in blinding neon. Women abandon their kids? Sure, because Annabeth Deschain was a nanny, and Dani Jay wouldn’t need a nanny if her mom was being a mom. Baby-trapping a guy? Maybe it hadn’t really worked for Dani Jay’s mom, because her last name wasn’t Gladieux, but certainly Annabeth Deschain thought the relationship was either a sham or had long gone sour. And older men? Well then. The age gap …

Maybe the Dani Jay story wasn’t as popular in this peninsula. Or maybe Emily thought it wasn’t as popular. The whole conversation had the air of an in joke, or maybe a joke she was playing on him and didn’t think he’d get. It was like she thought she’d distracted him with the fact that she’d worn so little and laid herself out for him to keep looking at.

Annabeth Deschain was the sort of young woman who thought Aaron Gladieux was in love with her, but maybe she thought that all men would be in love with her. Or at least lust after her. And, honestly, if they were anywhere but here …

If they were anywhere but here, Emily wouldn’t have a one in three chance of being a murderer.

Even though he really tried not to, Henry couldn’t help picturing the scene: Emily, who wouldn’t have been in her teeny bathing suit that early in the year, maybe lounging on some expensive sofa like she was posing for Playboy, ignoring Dani Jay. Or had she been outside with the little girl and lured her toward the hot tub? He knew that Dani Jay’s favorite toy, a stuffed lion cub for some reason wearing a scrap of green cloth around its neck like a shawl, was also found in the water, although he didn’t know if it was floating next to the dead child. If the toy had fallen in, and Dani Jay climbed after it …

Except there wasn’t evidence that anyone other than Dani Jay had been in the hot tub, and there were disagreements about the timeline. Was Annabeth Deschain still on the clock when the three-year-old died, or had she been passed over to her mother? Dina—not Diana or Tina: Dina—Lauritsen insisted that she went looking for her daughter because Annabeth hadn’t brought her along. Dina had, in fact, gone looking for both of them.

There were questions, certainly. Why had the hot tub lid been pushed aside? It wasn’t opened all the way. If it had been even half open, with one side flopped back, then Dani Jay could’ve gotten out, or at least climbed up on one of the molded plastic seats, kept her head above water, and screamed for help. Except the other argument was that all it took was for her to slip and gasp in surprise, and it would have been over even if the lid was all the way off. But then, why had she been left alone near the hot tub, anyway? She wasn’t supposed to be out on the deck by herself, and there was a gate that should have kept her from getting there from the backyard playset.

The problem with going to trial was the fact that so much depended on which woman was believed. There weren’t cameras in the Gladieux home and no outsider was able to confirm what happened during the last day of Dani Jay’s life. Aaron was out of the house and arrived just after the ambulance and police cars. The paramedics had to deal with the three adults of the household, all apparently suffering various degrees of shock, because Dani Jay was clearly dead.

Dani Jay was autopsied, cremated, and buried in a hastily purchased plot. The autopsy revealed drowning but no other injuries. There was nothing suspicious. It was a terrible accident.

Henry couldn’t really blame Aaron for going ahead and trying to bring a case against Annabeth, because publicly he was in a relationship with Dina, and who was going to believe the girl’s actual mother let her only child drown? The police went through the house with a vengeance, and Annabeth’s diary became evidence, and Dina disappeared from public sight while her sister reported on her emotional breakdown, and Annabeth just … disappeared.

Nobody missed Annabeth. Unless Aaron was secreting Annabeth away somewhere until such a time as he was allowed to publicly miss her. With the way Emily displayed herself on her towel yesterday, Henry couldn’t say he was entirely sure that Annabeth Deschain missed Aaron Gladieux back.

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Cold Comfort: Saturday, July 6, 2024 – Agatha

Friday nights are bonfire nights. I’m off, and even Truman’s off by the time I show up, but he’s here, too. I think Jonathan likes doing it because of the fire aspect, something primal and manly, and Truman’s down with it to the point where he’ll even bring deadfall or whatever back from the woods for fuel. I don’t know what he does, exactly, but I guess it’s good forest husbandry. Either that or he’s fooled himself into thinking it is. He’s never told me if you can get state-certified for that sort of thing the way you can for mycology.

I didn’t go back into town today. Any town. Copper Harbor’s much closer, but it’s still the weekend of the fourth, and I just didn’t feel like being around people again. Those trips can be depressing, because even email updates from loved ones just help indicate that time is, in fact, moving forward. Life goes on even when we don’t really feel like we’re living it.

I didn’t spend all day in my cabin, thank you very much, because I’ve got a hammock I can string between the trees behind it where no one will see me unless they come all the way around. I’d hear someone knocking at the front door, but even Jonathan respects our days off, maybe even more so because he just doesn’t take any. It’s shady, I’ve got a cache of drinks and snacks in my cabin, and Agatha Christie was freaking prolific. I’ve dabbled in her stuff before, but sheesh. They’ve got the whole set here, the collected works, and it’s kind of annoying because I did have to print out the Poirot reading order on one of my Houghton trips, but I’ve got that, and the Miss Marple stories, and even a list of when the rest of her stuff was published. They’re on the shelf alphabetical by title, for the most part, so that just isn’t helpful.

Poirot solves everything, but he mostly does it by very clearly being a strange little foreigner everyone ignores. He apparently bumbles around and makes odd remarks, but the stranger a thing he says, the more you have to pay attention to it. Yes, I’m still stuck on Percy’s comment about how these are perfect days.

It’s cool in the evenings, especially here on the water, so I’m in jeans and a hoodie and I’ve brought a blanket. Truman’s sitting on the log with me, and even though he’s still in board shorts, he’s got a hoodie, too. I don’t know if this one’s also got an SPF rating. The lightweight stuff makes sense, because a lot of people are outside in the summer, but do they make SPF fleece? Is there a market for that?

Truman leans over and nudges my shoulder. “Penny for your thoughts.”

“I have no thoughts,” I murmur.

“Liar,” He grins at me, the one he doesn’t break out around the guests. It’s just the two of us on this side of the fire and Jonathan on the other, occasionally poking at it or feeding it. “You always overthink everything.”

Okay that’s true, but he doesn’t have to say it. “Have you seen Mary?”

“Nope. She’s still dead.” The grin turns wicked. “Or my theory.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Shoot.”

“Mary’s not really with Percy. She’s Edgar’s long-term relationship, except nobody knows he’s in a long-term relationship, so they’re going through this whole charade to get the two of them together for a month, but it can’t look like they’re together, so here we are.” He looks at me, but apparently I’m not reacting properly because his face falls. “You got something better?”

Actually I think mine’s worse. “Edgar was in a secret long-term relationship, but they split, so now he can’t go through a painful breakup in public and he has to wonder if anyone’s ever going to want a relationship with him for who he is and not who he plays.”

Truman wrinkles his nose and glares at the fire. “Damn. Yours is more likely. And it sucks, because I like him.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Edgar, or his other name?”

“All his other names,” he laughs. “He’s excellent. You ever seen him in anything?”

I shake my head. “Just that one short film.”

He laughs and raises his mug in a toast. I don’t know what he’s got in there, or if the drink’s even hot. “That’s why he likes you.”

Okay, having one conversation about identifying bird song among the other niceties doesn’t really qualify as liking someone.

Truman tilts his head. “I’m kind of surprised Henry hasn’t been all over him.”

I blink. Henry and Edgar? That never crossed my mind. “Oh?”

“He’s done all he can to talk to the others,” he points out.

“You mean the women,” I add quickly.

But Truman shakes his head. “He talked to Percy, too.”

I shake mine right back. “But mostly the women.”

He points to our left with his chin. “Emily laid out in the sun in the tiniest bikini I’ve ever seen today, and he talked to her, but that was a ploy if I’ve ever seen one.”

“Henry’s knitting is a ploy if you’ve ever seen one,” I mutter.

Truman frowns again. “What’s wrong with a man knitting?”

“There’s nothing wrong with a man knitting,” I correct. “It’s when he knits in public and leans into all those headlines about how men are saving knitting from obscurity because they’re producing supposedly amazing finished objects that are just basic.”

He whistles silently. “You don’t like Henry.”

“There’s something weird about Henry,” I insist.

Truman clucks his tongue. “Alyssa Beatrice. There’s something weird about all of us.”

Well, yes.

Truman leans back on one hand, and at first I think it’s because we’re avoiding this subject again, but he takes a nearly-casual look around and tilts his head toward me. “My brother killed himself in prison after he killed his wife and his stepsons.”

I suck in a breath. “Shit, Tru.”

He nods, eyes on the fire. “I’ve worked here every summer since. My mom’s dead, too. She started drinking too much and choked to death on her own vomit one night. My dad’s long gone. He took off when we were little. So, you know.” Truman—handsome, charming, perfect smile—shakes his head slowly. “I’ve got all these questions about what’s hereditary and what I’m carrying in my genes. That’s heavy. Edgar’s got something heavy. Jane and Agatha? Heavy.”

“Emily?” I ask, because I don’t think I’ve seen that in her.

“Hides it,” he responds immediately. “Pretending it’s not heavy.”

“Percy?” I prompt.

This head shake is firmer. “Dude’s hiding something. I don’t think it’s a dead wife, but it’s shadowy.”

Henry’s neither shadowy nor heavy. He’s dangerous. I shiver, because I didn’t mean to think that.

Truman raises an eyebrow, but I don’t want to say the thing that’s only a gut feeling. And he’s just told me his own heavy thing, so that’s an invitation.

“A loss,” I blurt. “In my … my inner circle, I’d say, but it’s more of a polygon, and now one of the points is missing, so it’s unstable, and the whole thing feels like it’s collapsing.”

He licks his lips. “Sudden?”

“The kind of sudden that makes everyone else turn on each other, suspicious, because that’s somehow better than saying it was a pure accident and it was completely out of anyone’s control.” And just like that, it’s all neatly summed up, with the sharp edges filed off.

“I’m sorry.” Tru shifts a bit. “Are you going back? After September?”

Loon Lake is only open through September. They frequently get snow in October, but September’s still booked. “Right now I’m not really sure what’s happening after September. Why?” I turn to look at him more fully. “What do you do?”

“I’ve got a place not too far from here. Sort of a tiny house situation. It was built as a summer home, so I had to add insulation and the wood stove, but it’s all right.” It’s hard to tell with the firelight and the lingering sunset, but I think he’s blushing. “I sell art. I’ve got stuff in the galleries around here. So between that and Loon Lake, I make it through. I survive.”

Okay, but he said years, right? Years, and he’s still only just surviving?

“Look, it’s, um …” Sighing, Truman leans back on one hand, but this time it’s his left hand and it means angling closer to me. “There’s a world of difference between suffering a loss that was just an accident and sitting here, wondering if you’re destined to kill someone someday because it’s in your blood.”

I shake my head. “You don’t seem capable.”

“Alyssa.” This head tilt almost brings our foreheads into contact. “Before that day I wouldn’t have said he was, either.”

---

Cold Comfort: Saturday, July 6, 2024 – Henry

Dear Diary,

I should’ve brought some of those books about grief. You know, the ones I read and discarded because they were full of crap. Something about how when the student is ready …

He bought me some of the books when I refused to see a therapist, and I think he even read a couple of them before latching onto the one that made the most sense to him. Which made no sense at all to me. The book, not the latching on. When he finds something that mostly fits, he stops there instead of going on to see if there’s something that fits better.

God, I’m not talking about me. I don’t think. Fuck.

The point, dearest diary of my July, is that I wanted to go look through one of those books again. There’s a phrase that’s just out of reach, not even as close as the tip of my tongue, and I want to look it up. Pin it down. Etc. etc.

I even went up to the lodge library and had a look around. The very granola dude, Truman, poked his head in and asked if he could help me find anything. I couldn’t remember what book it was, so I just asked if there was a self-help section, and he directed me to a shelf.

They’re not labeled. Nothing’s labeled. It’s not a real library, just a collection, and I could’ve asked for certain books, or brought some of my own, or whatever, but of course I didn’t. Because I haven’t been reading, so I figured nothing would change, and if you want to make God laugh …

I’m full of those sayings today. Aphorisms? Is that what they’re called? Should’ve checked out the dictionary while I was there.

For the record, it’s stopped being cute and has started being seriously freaking annoying that I can’t just pull out my phone to look up something like that. There’ve got to be apps that lock you out of social media and things but let you search for random information, right? They could totally have Wi-Fi here. They don’t have a desktop computer all wired in at the lodge or anything. I asked Truman, and he doesn’t even own a laptop.

It’s so out of touch. We’re not completely limited. We can use the cabin phone to call the lodge and ask them to put a call through, like they’re 1950s operators, or walk up to the lodge and ask to use the phone, but that’s because we’re supposed to self-regulate. The people who call have to be pre-approved by us, with our July names and the pass phrase, and we have to take that extra step of asking for help to make a phone call. And we can’t type an email at all. We write it out by hand and give it to Jonathan, so just the fact that he has to read it limits what we’d say.

Which, again, is the freaking point of the place, but I’m totally sick of Loon Lake today. Give me doom scrolling and text messaging and the ability to Google some choice names.

I didn’t get a self-help book. I grabbed a couple novels, but no Agatha Christie, thanks. They’re sitting on the table in the living room area of the big room, which actually doesn’t feel all that big, and can you get cabin fever in less than a week even when you’re allowed to leave your cabin? It’s too cold to just sit outside in the shade, and writing or reading in the sun would give me a headache, so I’ve got the window open for the fresh air, but it’s still getting cold. I could light a fire in the fireplace, but it’s not that cold, and I feel like I’d die of carbon monoxide poisoning somehow. The chimney has to be open, but there’s probably a flue, which I know is a thing, but I don’t really know what it does, or how to check.

God, I’m useless. Is that a grief thing? Or is that because I went from my parents’ house to his house and I’ve never really had to fend for myself? He likes helping out. Being the manly man around the house. Taking care of me. Of us. But that’s the problem, isn’t it? The us.

I didn’t do girl lunch today. Or I guess I did girl lunch, here, alone, with what I have in my little kitchenette, but it wasn’t a picnic lunch with the girls. I didn’t look to see if Emily and Jane did. I haven’t seen anyone but Truman today, and that’s because he came to find me. I didn’t find him. Diary, I tried to avoid him.

Yes, I’ve basically done everything you’re not supposed to do when you’re battling depression: stayed inside. Didn’t socialize. Haven’t eaten well. And so I’m feeling worse. I wonder why?

Okay, there are things I can control and things I can’t. I’m isolated, because I’m here at Loon Lake, and leaving is a major decision that should not be made by someone in my current mood. However, there is something I can do: I will go to the lodge for dinner, and I will eat it in the dining room. I’ll take a book, but if anyone else comes in and asks to share my table, I’ll say yes. If they don’t, they don’t. I’ve never seen anyone stay yet. But I swear I’ll go at six o’clock sharp, and sit at a table, so everyone else gets to make that choice of whether or not to join me. A girl has to keep a promise to her diary.

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Cold Comfort: Friday, July 5, 2024 – Alyssa

Oh, now this was a change. When Henry got up to refill his coffee, he noticed a series of ripples running across the water. At first his mind went to the Loch Ness monster, except it would be the Loon Lake monster, and it occurred to him that he’d never actually seen a loon. Henry was pretty sure the weird noises he heard early in the morning were loons, but hey, maybe it was a lake monster. Then another series of ripples dashed across the surface, and it clicked: someone was skipping stones.

He had the last cabin on this end. The one next to him was Jane’s. Their conversation was cut short yesterday. Henry decided to take his coffee outside.

The shoreline was more rock than anything, so he debated turning around for his sandals, but he caught sight of Jane through some of the trees and figured he couldn’t go back in case she saw him doing it. At this point he was committed to approaching her, and he’d have to hope he wouldn’t wince too much. Maybe the rocks were rounded by the water and wouldn’t cut into his skin. Getting driven out for medical care didn’t count as asking Jonathan if he could leave, but he didn’t need stitches on the soles of his feet, thanks.

Jane had shoes on, along with her yoga pants, camisole top, and thin zip-up hoodie. Her hair was in a bun at the back of her head, making her ready for ballet practice, and she held a number of stones in her left hand as she looked out over the water, turning one over in her right hand, and then went into the fluid tossing motion. Could you be a professional stone skipper? Was it a recommended hobby for ballet dancers?

Henry walked closer to the water’s edge, staying on what he thought of as his property, but the trees didn’t come all the way up here. He took a sip of his coffee and waited for Jane to run out of the rocks in her hand and look at him, breathing a little heavier than usual. “You ever hit a fish in the head?” he asked.

Jane blinked and looked out to the water, then frowned. “They’d float, wouldn’t they?”

“Do unconscious fish float?” he asked, thinking it was inane even as he said it.

She shook her head a little and squatted down to pick up more rocks, gathering and discarding too quickly to be looking at them. “I think it takes dead ones a while to float. You’ll have to check back.”

Henry wanted to hunker down, too, but then he’d have to stand again when she stood, and imagine putting all his weight onto the balls of his feet. The rocks were smooth enough, he supposed, but they shifted, and his luck, he’d fall on his ass. “You okay?” he asked before he could wonder if that was really a good question.

Jane stayed down there, pulling the rocks out of her left hand only to drop them back into her palm, letting them clack together.

Bad decision. He should figure out how to get out of this.

“Emily and Agatha were talking about guys,” Jane said abruptly, smoothly rising to her feet.

Okay. Um. “Oh?”

“Yeah, they’re both …” She stole a quick glance at his face and continued to clack the stones together. “I think they’re both here because of guy troubles. You know?”

“Because they just got out of bad relationships?” he clarified, and sheesh, was he just making himself sound even stupider?

Jane wrinkled her nose, which was super cute but also made Henry feel a bit like a pedophile. “I don’t know that they’re out of them yet. You’d think so, right?” She turned away from him a little and selected a stone, but this one only skipped twice, and maybe that was why she sighed. “Any relationship where you have to go away from him for a month, that’s not a good one. Right?”

Henry didn’t know if she was right or not, but at least that question was rhetorical.

“And they, I don’t know. They bonded over that, and I just …” This sigh was bigger and ended with her hands, one still holding rocks, hitting her thighs. “It seems so trivial. Don’t you think? Blowing all this dough on trying to figure out your relationship, alone, when anyone could tell them that’s not how you figure out a relationship if it’s going to last.” She shook her head slowly and repeated it: “Trivial.”

Henry chewed on his lip, but this really seemed like a pause he should break. “No man is worth this?” he suggested, and ugh, why did his voice waver in the middle? It should’ve come out sure.

Jane turned to look at him, really studying his face, and Henry fought the urge to take a sip of coffee just so he could hide behind his mug. “I think they’re the ones who are worth it, if they end up choosing themselves, but I don’t know. Men are pigs, so they’re here?”

Henry chewed his lip, but he couldn’t ask it.

She rolled her eyes anyway, and found the muscles in her arms, and considered her ammo for her next shot. “I’m not here because of someone I’m dating.”

That might be the truth, or it might not. “Neither am I,” he offered, finally taking a drink as she let another rock fly.

---

Cold Comfort: Friday, July 5, 2024 – Agatha

Today’s the fourth, so I don’t turn my car toward Copper Harbor. That’s going to be packed, and after all this time at Loon Lake, I’m not much for crowds. Plus sometimes a girl just wants to walk through a Walmart.

It’s a long drive to Houghton, but a pretty one. Most of the traffic’s headed up 41 the other way, and even though you’re going past a bunch of different signs, you don’t really see any neighborhoods. They’re all old mining towns, and most of them don’t look like much anymore. There’s Calumet, which has some cool stuff, but I keep on heading south, radio blasting, and cross the bridge, and head up the hill toward neon-lit aisles of more than you could ever want.

Walmart is like the anti-Truman: full of chemicals, lacking sunlight, all processed and neon and individually packaged. I want to hit the candy aisle, mostly, because the kitchen’s not stocked with much of anything sweet this month. Nobody requested snack cakes or even really any desserts, so I have to fend for myself. I only grab a basket instead of a cart, though, trying to be reasonable. Mostly I just need to be washed in the atmosphere of mind-numbing architecture and a bunch of strangers who don’t know any version of my name.

If I mentioned anything to Lydia, she’d probably put the candy on Jonathan’s list and I’d get it for free, but shopping feels a bit like taking some control back. That’s totally not the point of the summer, I know—it’s about following orders and being the perfect little customer service girl—but hey, weekends aren’t for work. Shake things up, do something that doesn’t happen the other five days, and put items in plastic bags that will make Truman cluck his tongue in despair.

The switch-up for lunch is getting a burger instead of having a cold sandwich, and I’ve got my book so I can sit in the booth and read it while I eat. I’m early, before noon, so it’s not too crowded, and that’s the way I like it. Although I’m not sure how crowded it ever really gets here on a weekday.

After lunch it’s time to head to the library because they have public computers.

Maybe it’s silly. Probably it’s silly. Before coming up here I deleted the Gmail app from my phone, and I haven’t checked my email on it since. Residents aren’t allowed to bring their phones at all because the temptation to make a digital record of Loon Lake and the other residents is just too great, so mine gets locked in my glove box most of the time, but I recharge it on the drive. Texts pop in once I hit an area with signal, but the important things only get sent in emails, and I don’t want to run the risk of someone breaking into my car, finding the phone, and reading the important things.

I paid for a library card so I can log in to one of their desktops, read my emails, delete the Internet history even though I don’t know if that step’s really necessary, and log out again. I don’t print anything, so Thursdays are really the only days I read them, if I don’t feel like driving down two days in a row. I don’t delete them, but I can’t really keep them.

He’s old-school in a computer semi-literate kind of way, which means he doesn’t sign his emails, but the display name tells me it’s from Aaron Gladieux all the same. Even though he knows I only check things once or twice a week, he usually writes every day. I read through all of them, clicking from one to the next, and then back to the one that’s his response to what I sent last week. I scroll down to the end and read those lines slowly, over and over: Hang in there, honey. We’ll get through this. I love you. Finally I take a deep breath, swipe at my eyes, and pull myself together enough to write back.

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Cold Comfort: Friday, July 5, 2024 – Henry

Dear Diary,

The girls had lunch together today. That’s what Emily called us: the girls. We’re a set now, and that’s probably a good thing, considering Henry.

I think Jane took pity on him. She didn’t say so, and she didn’t want to talk about it, but the way she looked when Emily said “All men are pigs” makes me think she’s got a man problem, too. Probably not my kind of man problem, but a Henry kind of man problem. He’s like a vampire, especially in the way he tries to hide it.

I guess that rocking chair has his name on it now, which is fine, because if I want to sit on a porch there’s one at my cabin, but Jane was in the one next to him. I think she was trying to watch Edgar and Truman. She didn’t say that part, either, but they were out in the kayaks, and there’s something peaceful about watching the bright colors cut through the water. If Henry wasn’t there, I would’ve joined her.

Maybe it’s unfair, just because Jane’s such a little porcelain doll, but the way he sat was freaking predatory. They’re probably the same age (we’re probably all somewhere in our twenties, maybe early thirties) but he’s a foot taller and twice as broad as she is, and he was sucking her soul out of her eyes.

He always laughs when I say that. I used to think it was endearing, or maybe something to envy: the fact that he doesn’t know what that feels like. How people don’t demand that sort of energy from him, maybe because he’s a man, or maybe just because he’s him. That sort of confidence and poise. But lately, heaven help me, I’ve thought he’s never felt it because you’d have to have a soul in the first place.

Henry’s just so demanding. He’s got the attitude that means he’s only waiting for your mouth to stop moving so he can talk about more important things.

Himself, for the record. That’s Henry’s most important thing.

I could tell just by seeing him there in that rocker, knitting and pretending not to notice he was getting noticed. Alyssa’s seen it, too, because her knitting bag stays tucked away when he’s out. I could tell he’d already gotten dinner last night because she was knitting when I came in, and yeah, it was late, but it was kind of reassuring, since I wasn’t going to cross paths with him.

Not that he could follow a woman home (cabin?) without consequences. Although now I have to wonder why we don’t have emergency whistles or anything. There’s no guarantee someone would hear me scream, and to get to the 911 button on the phone, I’d have to let him in. But come on, Agatha, he didn’t follow you, and Jane could’ve left that porch any time she wanted, so if something happened because she stayed …

What, it would be her fault?

It doesn’t matter. I saw them, and hesitated, but Emily came in right after me, tucked her hand through my elbow, and pulled me out to the porch with her, all confident and with a sparkly smile. “Hey, Jane, you ready?” she asked, like we’d planned it. Like maybe Jane sat to listen to Henry, but she was only waiting for us.

And the look Jane gave us was grateful, but Henry’s not the type of guy to see it. How desperate she was to get away. He’s the kind to get pissed at Emily for saying something, but then she’s the kind to let it roll off her like water off a duck’s back, and it all just circles around and mostly the three of us ended up having a picnic again, and Emily said “All men are pigs,” and I said “Some men are more pigs than others,” and she laughed and toasted me with her Perrier.

And one of the problems with this plan, I’d like to tell Dr. Weber, is that I can’t talk about it with the girls, even if they’re my new friends. I can’t lay it all out from my perspective and get their opinions on it. There’s no one here to argue his point of view and maybe talk me around a little, because hey, he’s the one who agreed I should come here. He’s the one who paid.

I’m supposed to spend this time deciding what I want next, but really, he’s the one who needs the time. Time without me for a month to figure out if he wants life without me for a few decades. But that’s not the way he worded it. “We’ve been through so much,” he told me, holding both my hands. “I don’t want you to pick me because you think you should pick me.”

Meaning, really, that I could still change my mind. Maybe he hopes I’ve changed my mind. Everything I’ve done for us, and I haven’t crossed the point of no return.

He doesn’t understand. He knows what I’ve done for him, and maybe I was an idiot for confessing all that, but he doesn’t understand. Some men are pigs, but they’re our undoing all the same.

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Cold Comfort: Thursday, July 4, 2024 – Alyssa