Jo
Oh my God the ace shirt makes a lot of things fall into place. It’s funny that we have the same shirt—mine’s in slightly different colors, since the nonbinary flag has yellow instead of gray, in a different order—but also funny that I think we each took one glance and had a light bulb go off. I caught the way Jamie looked at me when I shucked my hoodie, and it wasn’t because I had to find a place for it that won’t trip us up.
I think he clocked it when I hesitated at introducing myself to Dune. They gave their pronouns, and my brain blinked out for a moment, because … well. I don’t mind she/her, and I like wearing dresses, and sometimes it’s easier to just go with the flow. I know Dune noticed, because they gave me one of those looks that says maybe I’m back at the start of their journey, but I think Jamie did, too. He didn’t ask about it, but he double-blinks at the colors on my barcode before he turns to the next slip.
He’s fast. I guess anybody who does anything this frequently gets fast at it, but man. There’s a reason he got out a cutting board and knife and made just enough space for me: they’re going to be through their rolls in no time, and it’s going to take me a while to slice the rest. I’m not fast to begin with, and the thought that people will be paying for these makes me a little more careful about lining up the knife and getting the thickness of the bottom half just right. Once I’ve thought I can’t let their five-star rating go down the drain I have to focus on not paralyzing myself into inaction. A couple wonky buns might not make a difference, but come on: I’m here to help out, not cause more problems.
There’s no music playing in the food truck, and most of Ricky’s conversation is directed outward. Some noises drift in from outside, but I should’ve brought my headphones. I wasn’t planning on coming to PrideFest until hours from now, closer to the drag show, because Ricky asked me to. My original plan was to be home, reading or maybe trolling the internet for more photos of Jamie’s old neighborhood circa 2000. I’ve got a newspaper subscription in general, but this is specifically looking for stories about that one part of Milwaukee, and that’s not easy to search for. It’s a lot of clicking and scrolling, just to be sure.
Jamie’s still working his way through the copies I made him, and he’s diligent about it. He doesn’t have many photos of his time in Milwaukee, considering both where it fell in the evolution of cameras and how people living alone don’t really take snapshots of the things they see every day, but he’s got some of his family coming to visit. His dad grew up there, and Allan visited a lot, usually when things weren’t going well with whatever woman he lived with at the moment. He’s been married three times, but I think you’d probably call him a serial monogamist. No matter the reason his marriage broke up, he’d move in with someone else after a short stint with Jamie.
And Jamie never dated anyone because he didn’t want to. Granted, there’s a whole spectrum of asexuality, but considering the zero previous interest I have to assume he’s the black stripe on the flag and not the gray. It’s also a possible explanation for some of the awkwardness when I intrude on his personal space bubble. Not everyone who’s ace is touch-averse, but he might be. Even though, right at this moment, we’re very close indeed.
I think it’s even more distracting because of the lack of music. It just makes me listen to see if I can hear him breathing. Down, girl. You can come to his rescue and maybe not drool over the confident motions of his hands.
He probably works out. Maybe his forearms are like that because of being in the kitchen like this, but how else would he get those biceps?
The Thirty-One totes are nice because they fold down flat, so once I empty one I can get it out of the way and move on to the next. There’s no room for it up on the counter, and I can’t get too far ahead of Jamie because there’s not enough space. This isn’t an operating room, but there are still food-safe surfaces, and he handed me a hairnet and gloves before I got started, so this is serious business. I haven’t looked around enough to see if there are any certifications on display somewhere, but he’s got to be inspected and licensed and stuff, right? If he’s serving food, there are all sorts of codes, even if it’s on wheels and not a brick-and-mortar restaurant.
Is there one proclaiming that all staff are suitably trained? All my own certifications lapsed when I got laid off because of COVID, and even then, my extent was making espresso drinks and bagging bakery. I had to cut bagels back then, I guess, but that was with the bagel slicer that did not exactly live up to its name. Maybe the hair net and gloves are enough, as long as I don’t cut one of my fingers or something.
The cafe always had music going. What kind of music depended on who was there, but it was always something. Nobody worked in silence, whether it was us or the customers. It was near campus, so just far enough away to make students feel like they were leaving school for a bit but definitely close enough for study groups or grad students and their mentors.
Jake never came with his mentor when I was on shift. I figured he didn’t want to mix the professional and personal, meaning he wouldn’t be able to help it if I was around, and not that he was ashamed of me for not going on to grad school. I picked up after him, I kept him fed, and I respected any time he told me he had a meeting or wanted to work late. Maybe he was cheating on me back then, too, and not just with Tess, but that’s never come up. I can’t say I really want to know.
Okay and music also gives my brain words to think that aren’t just my own thoughts.
Mom and Dad called this morning, of course, and we talked a bit about my work for Margot but not the stuff I’ve been going over with Jamie. I think they’re both convinced that, if they don’t entertain my fantasies, they’ll dry up. Since we haven’t actually talked about it, I don’t know if they think I’m making it up because of the Jake thing.
They don’t think it’s the concluded contract thing, because hey, I got all that money. Kara and Tess fulfilled their half of that deal exactly as they said they would, and paid quite well, so I should be happy. Maybe not so happy that I turned Davis in like that, but happy that I could be part of the chain that means the police finally had enough evidence to arrest and charge him.
There’s enough for that. There’s just not enough to convict him of all nine, except what police department wants to think they missed two serial killers instead of one? They’ve already lumped the nine together, so even the work Jamie and I have been doing to try to track down everyone involved with that neighborhood—he asked if I’d looked into divorced dads whose kids lived there, and I kind of groaned and swore and added that to my list—will be pointless unless we can find someone who fits.
It’s really not time to get distracted and think about my own life and where—or how, or if—Jamie himself fits.
Chapter Eighteen – coming October 18