Jo
I’m definitely flushed, but it’s not for the good, oh my God, Jamie just kissed me reason. It’s not like Dad walked in on us, exactly, because we were right there out in public, but come on, what are the odds? And now we’re in the apartment above them, and I can’t quite work out which room of theirs is below the bedroom, and my face just gets hotter because I’ve thought it, even if nothing’s going to come of it.
God, I don’t even know. I have to figure Jamie’s got enough of his own feelings bubbling up, and maybe he’s confused and flustered, too, and now I’m basically useless. I let us in, and put my keys on the hook, and slip off my shoes, and give a helpless little shrug because I’m not sure what to say.
Jamie sets my backpack down and kneels to untie his shoes, which is encouraging, because that means he’s going to stay a while. When he stands up again he reaches for my face, not pushing me back but pulling me in for another kiss. I hardly need the urging, and I move up against him so he’s the one who takes a half-step back and braces himself against the wall, pulling me closer as I straddle one of his thighs, and my God, am I touch starved or it is just because it’s Jamie? His hands are on my back, pressing me closer, and I want to shuck my dress so he can have me skin to skin, but if he does that, I’m going up in a pillar of flame. I’ll become a pile of ashes, just from his hands, and Amanda will have to rent a carpet cleaner before the next renter moves in.
He’s in no rush, and it’s sweet agony. We kiss slowly, and thoroughly, barely moving, like it’s some sort of challenge. My fingers twitch, wanting to run through his hair or trace the line of his jaw, but his hands are steady pressure, keeping me in place. All I can do is melt against him and try not to moan too desperately into his mouth when his tongue makes me shiver.
Jamie finally breaks off the kiss, and the fact that he needs a moment to get his wits back makes me tingle and bury my face in his neck. His laugh is a little breathless as he kisses my hair. “I really shouldn’t stay. If I’m not back before Mom goes to bed …”
God, we really are teenagers. I’m here thinking about what the downstairs apartment can hear going on upstairs, and he’s calculating his curfew.
“But, uh.” Jamie waits until I look up at him and tilts his head. “They’re respecting game night, so you can still stay over tomorrow, right?”
I giggle and drop my head back to his shoulder again. “You don’t think they’re going to stay up and wait for me to come home?”
“They said they’re going out with Brent and Amanda,” he reasons. “Maybe they’ll just assume you got back before they did.”
Okay but it still feels like sneaking around, which, let’s face it, is totally part of the appeal. Helen’s fine with me in her house for meals and when she’d not there, but Jamie and I haven’t spent the night together yet. I’d have to guess that she waits to make sure she hears that he’s home, and sleeping with Jamie—even if it’s just sleeping—when she’s only down the hall would be worse than getting up to something tonight with my parents downstairs. At least that’s technically a separate apartment.
I’ll sleep with Jamie—or at least next to Jamie—in Helen’s house when she’s not there, but at this point … well, I can see why Allan wouldn’t have wanted to move back in, even if they had all been girlfriends.
Jamie chuckles and nuzzles my neck. “Look at me, all in a hurry to leave.”
Yeah, because I’m in such a hurry to let him. “Take my key. You could totally make it a Simpsons episode: leave there after she goes to bed and then leave here so you’re home before she gets up.”
“What, because that worked out so well for Lisa?” he laughs.
“For a few days it did!” I protest, and yeah, we’re all giggly and hyped up on various emotions.
He sighs and touches his forehead to mine. “I’m going to go home, and stay there for the night, and we’ll plan on Babycakes at nine unless I tell you otherwise, okay? At least with me, maybe with Mom and Allan. I’ll let you know.”
I nod slightly, but not enough to jar our skulls. “Okay. Is this the part where I have to move?”
Jamie smiles and kisses me again, not nearly for long enough this time. “Yes.”
I sigh but pull away, and he gives me a little half-smile as he kneels to put his shoes back on. Honestly he could’ve kept them on, considering, but I’m guessing neither of us exactly had a plan for how this was going to go. Or, well, scratch plan. Neither of us had a clear idea, either, and now he stands up to see me grinning uncontrollably.
“Hey, no,” he protests as I bury my face in my hands. “It’s a lot harder to kiss you that way.”
“And kissing is something you like doing,” I confirm, because come on, this is new, emotions are up, and I don’t want to go making assumptions.
Jamie nods slowly, but I think it’s more at my need for clarification than his answer. He cups my face in his hand and runs his thumb slowly over my cheek, considering. “When it’s just the two of us, yes,” he concludes firmly, “but in front of other people …”
I nod at that. We’ve all got our limits. Maybe they’re different for family versus friends, but they still exist. We’re alone right now, though, so I lean in to kiss him again.
“Yeah, see.” He laughs a little and hugs me. “I really should go.”
This time when I step back I raise my hands, clearing him for the exit. It’s Jamie’s turn to hesitate, biting his lip—damn, seriously—but then he shakes his head and gives me a little wave as he leaves.
My God. Okay. Tomorrow there’ll be family time, but for now I’m alone and free to think about him all I want.
Chapter Thirty-Four – coming November 3
